Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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