ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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