Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize