im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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