...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
