I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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