just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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