What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just google imaged poop.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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