She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
