Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
