I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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