I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just google imaged poop.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
