Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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