He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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