dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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