I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
