remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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