having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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