I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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