Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
