i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Found your dick twin last night
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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