they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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