new low.... made out with someone while peeing
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
please don't ironically join a cult
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