Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
should my penis look like a turkey
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize