discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
