dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
