what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
