How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
