I want to make a zoo with you.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Every concussion has its silver lining
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
