I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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