My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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