Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
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