Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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