I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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