Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
