Nicole vs. Life
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
