i just had sex bonerless
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
