dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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