the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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