are you still at the devil's house?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
