I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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