Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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