I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
