Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
