I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
