I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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