Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
