i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
