okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
