About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
