Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
