Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
