i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
