I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
