Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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