like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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