i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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