Can Purell be used as lube?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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