You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
