just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
