i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
