Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
