I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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