I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
