We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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