My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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