Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
