Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Randomize
