please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
