i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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