Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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