So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
