I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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