Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
