Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
me + whiskey = a bad person
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
