I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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