maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
