I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
