So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
