Say something about gay babies.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize