I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
